Fred Phelps Isn’t Getting A Funeral

March 21, 2014 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

Everybody’s favorite piece of shit human being in the entire world, Fred Phelps, finally died yesterday many, many years beyond how long he actually deserved to live. The founder of the Westboro Baptist Church carved his place in society by protesting the funerals of dead people, from soldiers to celebrities and any person who advanced the cause for gay rights in between, and he was a pioneer in using the law to keep his church’s hate speech protected, as well as suing people who had short enough fuses to attack the assholes that belonged to the church. Of course, now that he’s dead, people everywhere think it would be hilarious to picket his funeral with ridiculous signs, but in a cruel twist of irony, Fred’s family announced that there will be no funeral for him. Instead, we’ll all just have to live with the knowledge that Fred showed up to heaven, and God took one look at him and said, “Fuck off, fag.”

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