Ireland Baldwin Has a Good Head on Her Tits

By Lex March 07, 2014 @ 2:02 PM

Ireland Baldwin Shows Off Cleavage At The Vanity Fair Oscar Party
‘I’m dumping my boyfriend to focus on work and school’, said no eighteen year old girl ever. But Ireland Baldwin is going with that line to explain her breakup with the gay detective novel series named Slater Trout, a professional paddle-surfer, whatever the fuck that means besides the fact that you’re living off his parents. It might make sense if Ireland was actually in school. I think she’s referring to acting school, which is to school as drinking twelve light beers is to cutting back on the calories. Ireland changed her hair color to lavender following the breakup, which I can tell you from my vast limited knowledge of the opposite sex means she currently hates men. If it’s not red or blond or brunette, her vagina is bitter. She’ll eventually get over whatever Slater Trout did to her. Then I can get back to my bucket list of having sex with her and her hot yoga stepmom while I punch Alec Baldwin in his cirrhosis.

Photo Credit: Getty

wwtdd

(8) Comments

  1. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 03/07/2014 18:46

    What is that under her boob? A vein with makeup over it? Or is she a replicant?

  2. avatar
    Admiral 03/07/2014 19:41

    She’s kinda goofy. She always has that look on her face like she just got bonked on the head with one of those giant cartoon mallets. Imagine some stars or birds circling around her head and you’ll see what I mean.

    Also, I’m guessing the Kevlar nipple armor is so that they can get more money out of the eventual nudes she will undoubtedly flaunt. Previously unseen nipples are a good bargaining chip.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 03/07/2014 22:07

    “She always has that look on her face like she just got bonked on the head with one of those giant cartoon mallets.”

    I was going to say she looks like she’s already had plastic surgery and should have a morning talk show with Courtney Stodden, but this is much better.

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 03/07/2014 22:13

    Also, “school” is just what you say when you don’t want people looking too closely into your activities. Immediate virtue, just add “school.”

  5. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 03/09/2014 02:42

    I never was a big fan of Kim, but the mom was hotter back in the day.

  6. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 03/09/2014 02:49

    Hugh, great point. As an RN my life would be much easier if I had veins like that to start an IV. Wonder if I would get fired for charting “heplock on inferior right breast”. I have never even contemplated an angiocatheter on the chest.

  7. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 03/09/2014 02:52

    Sorry for being annoying and repetitive, but that must be some sort of saline line pump. I have never seen a pump that low, but i also have never seen a vein like that.

  8. avatar
    thiswasyahoo 03/09/2014 16:02

    @))Amy, you make $27h thats great going girl good for you! My story is that I quit working at shoprite to work online, seriously I couldn’t be happier I work when I want and where I want. And with a little effort I easily bring in $35h and sometimes even as much as $85h…heres a good example of what i’m doing ,

    >>>>>>>>W­WW.D­ITJ­OB­S.C­O­M

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