Jennette McCurdy Is Feeling Ashamed

Charles Barkley was right. Being a role model is just too fucking hard. Jennette McCurdy has tried her darndest to be a role model for young women. That involves all the pro forma checkboxes of telling girls to be themselves, talking about your favorite lipstick, and giggle about kissing boys when you’re boning an NBA baller on the QT. Jennette McCurdy was seeing Andre Drummond, then broke up, then called him a bad kisser, so he went all high school and leaked naughty lingerie photos she’d sent him during their brief romance.  Now, she’s super ashamed. I mean, really truly ashamed.

Look right there. Ashamed emoticon. That’s the teen text girl version of driving a nail through your palm during Easter self-flagellation rituals in the Philippines. It’s always best to appear contrite when you’re looking to maintain those G-rated girl sponsorships rolling. I think with Miley plugging her vagina with various arena concession stand items nightly, you’re probably good with a few leaked lingerie photos. You have amazing tits. In the history of time, nobody’s ever been hurt from people knowing they have great tits. We’ll get through this, as a team. Now, how about you send your teammate some nudies?