Jennette McCurdy Is Feeling Ashamed

By Lex March 04, 2014 @ 1:46 PM

Charles Barkley was right. Being a role model is just too fucking hard. Jennette McCurdy has tried her darndest to be a role model for young women. That involves all the pro forma checkboxes of telling girls to be themselves, talking about your favorite lipstick, and giggle about kissing boys when you’re boning an NBA baller on the QT. Jennette McCurdy was seeing Andre Drummond, then broke up, then called him a bad kisser, so he went all high school and leaked naughty lingerie photos she’d sent him during their brief romance.  Now, she’s super ashamed. I mean, really truly ashamed.

Look right there. Ashamed emoticon. That’s the teen text girl version of driving a nail through your palm during Easter self-flagellation rituals in the Philippines. It’s always best to appear contrite when you’re looking to maintain those G-rated girl sponsorships rolling. I think with Miley plugging her vagina with various arena concession stand items nightly, you’re probably good with a few leaked lingerie photos. You have amazing tits. In the history of time, nobody’s ever been hurt from people knowing they have great tits. We’ll get through this, as a team. Now, how about you send your teammate some nudies?

(7) Comments

  1. avatar
    Gorgo 03/04/2014 14:03

    Now this girl has a great body. Why can’t she be the one pulling the Miley Cyrus routine?

  2. avatar
    RustyShackleford 03/04/2014 14:42

    only thing left to do now is release more…

  3. avatar
    Sterling Archer 03/04/2014 15:13

    Release more with less, amarite? I don’t often like nigga on white girl but please andre release that tape.

  4. avatar
    amb586 03/04/2014 16:20

    That is not her facebook account. It’s a fake. this is her facebook. Notice the blue checkmark signifying it’s a verified profile? The fake account that posted this has 32,000 followers. Her real account has over 9 million. If she were ever going to post anything it would be on twitter. she hardly ever posts on facebook.

  5. avatar
    ThisSiteIsGayPornography 03/04/2014 19:05

    Her tits appear as round and firm as baseballs.

  6. avatar
    scallywag 03/05/2014 18:10

    Lesson for Jennette McCurdy hoping to retain her G sponsorship deals and God’s badge of good girl honor: cringe and sigh to abandon, at least you have a new legion of fans slowly glaring at your yummy parts

    So much for child actors that dare to break out of their mould….

  7. avatar
    bosshogger 03/13/2014 14:59

    this girl…damn. i worked in television for a decade or so and was around lots of hot girls from tv and music, and the one that still sticks out to me as super hot in person was jennette mccurdy. did. not. see. that. coming. her face, cute enough, but her body is smoking hot..SMOKING hot. every man on set was just looking at each other like “are you seeing this”.

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