Naomi Campbell Marches to Put Herself Out of Business

Nobody really favors beating women. At least, not out loud. But if anybody knows something about assaulting women, it’s Naomi Campbell. She was born with an incredible skill for abusing female subordinates with implements of her modeling world — cell phones, pagers, personal organizers, and various items of personal hair care. She’s been arrested several times for such offenses, convicted, settled lawsuits, and even been banned from British Airways for life, which is particularly relevant when you’re British. I guess nobody was more shocked to see Naomi at the front of the U.N. march to end violence against women in New York City than her various assault victims, still feeling the twinge from their particular personal electronic device beatings. I guess this is Naomi’s way of showing she’s turned over a new leaf. Or, like the sinisterly intelligent pedophile who climbs to the tops of the Boy Scout leadership ranks, she’s just found a fertile hunting ground for new victims. Nobody expects a Galaxy S to the cranium at a U.N. Peace Rally. I know they don’t match your Hermes scarves, but if you know what’s good for you, ladies, you’d don the blue peacekeeper helmets.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, WENN