Sean Penn Is Building a Nest For Charlize Theron

Satellite imagery diverted from the South Indian Ocean revealed work being done at Sean Penn’s angry Malibu home. Yes, even his home is angry. A safety fence was being installed around his pool and a trampoline was being constructed, signaling to everybody Sean would soon be booting Charlize’s African toddler outdoors so he could properly violate the boy’s mother. Nobody’s exactly clear why Charlize handles relationships like she’s the ugly fat stepsister with painful molars and few options in decent men, but she’s jumping right into this Sean Penn business. Sometimes, you just meet a man with a history of violence toward women, an unusually muscular physique for his age, and drinking problems and you know you just want to spend the rest of the Obama Administration with him. Charlize seems to be smitten. On the set of her latest photo shoot she was showing off the welts Sean gave her with the punishment stick when she questioned the true quality of Cuban state healthcare. Sean can get silly like that once you get past his quiet facade.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News