I remember my first day at cocaine holding school. Paris Hilton came in as a guest speaker and unveiled the special pouch she had sewn into her vagina for secreting her stash during encounters with the pigs. Her words, not mine. And then her cautionary note on not what to do when carrying a controlled substance on your person. Like, for instance, shove a cop. Simona Fusco, who you may remember jerking off to in the movie Beerfest, thought it a wise idea to shove a police officer who was trying to break up a fight between two male suitors outside a Beverly Hills restaurant. She had a mystery white powder in her purse at the time. For a girl who has smart looking tits, that’s not such a genius move. She got arrested. She’s really good looking so nothing will actually happen to her legally. Except for losing her shit. And a bunch of people like me reminding everybody that she showed off her tits in The Pool Boys.
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