Vogue Readers Impotently Angry About Kim’s Cover Win

March 26, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

To see this coming, you had to be alive and have a functioning brain stem. Many loyal Vogue magazine readers who see the publication as the bible of fashion packaged in glossy commercial print were pissed that cash munching Hobbit mongrel Kim Kardashian graced the cover of the magazine this month in an obvious ratings ploy. In exchange for finally landing her long desired cover, Kim Kardashian and her baby daddy provided Vogue with a series of staged candids of them with their baby looking all maudlin and cosmically depressed. Kim then sent out a whole bunch of excited Tweets pretending she was OMG!!!! shocked to be on the cover. Even discounting for all her fake and paid social media flock, Kim still has about 10 million Twitter followers which is a virtual army of simple minded consumers that Vogue and their advertisers covet. Sarah Michelle Gellar was one of the first noteworthy individuals to announce she was canceling her subscription to Vogue for their crass bargain with Beelzebub. She was followed suit by tons of other women who expressed outrage but probably didn’t follow up with an actual cancellation. Vogue calculated that false outrage shit ahead of time. For her part, Kim remained restrained in her counter protests, nonchalantly asking Sarah Michelle if her husband Freddy Prinze Jr. maybe remembers telling Kim once that she was the hottest girl he ever took a dump on.

(You can’t see Sarah Michelle Gellar’s tweet anymore. She pulled it. I’d go with tons of poorly written ‘I will kill u’ death threats as the reason behind that.)