When I think about how Kardashian proximity has emasculated former lunch box hero Bruce Jenner, I want to punch Kris Jenner in her girdle restricted paunch so hard that Khloe passes gas. Maybe this guy was a ticking estrogen time bomb from birth, but there's no disputing that living in a freak show for twenty years is going to rub you off a little freaky. Based on my projections, we've got six months, plus or minus two weeks, before we see Bruce on TMZ in a sullen mug shot wearing way too much eyeliner and an off-centered pigtail. I'm just glad his kids are already indignant high school dropouts so this couldn't possibly harm them.
Photo credit: INF Photo