Dylan Penn Has Arrived

April 11, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

I inherently want any child of Sean Penn to be successful. I feel the same way about abused and neglected dogs. I want them to be adopted into nice homes, or at least to be distracted by pictures of juicy bones to distract while being gassed. Being born Sean Penn’s daughter has to be seen as an unlucky twist of Fate. Even the random Asian babies shipped to obsessively neat gay couples in Hollywood feel bad for you. It’s good fortune when you can grow up and find your happiness niche taking off your clothes in magazines. Everybody gets to feel better about themselves. You’re vindicated. The Asian babies are happy. Sean Penn gets to roid rage battle dudes at the gym talking shit about his girl. This couldn’t have possibly worked out better for everybody.

Photo Credit: Treats

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