Father Kicks Son Down Skateboard Ramp, You Won’t Believe What Happened to This Pussy Kid Next (VIDEO)

By Lex April 29, 2014 @ 1:10 PM

Some people have graciously taken time out from denouncing Donald Sterling this week to call the dad who pushed his son off the skateboard ramp a monster. Yeah, a monster, or a throwback dad to the time when dads didn’t neuter their own boys. You think the parents of the Greatest Generation kneeled down with their hesitant kids atop the skateboard ramp and conversed with them endlessly about their concerns, playing into their anxiety and hysteria before giving them a little pill and a juice box to make it all better. Nay. They shoved their asses off the ramps to teach them how to fly. And they didn’t have pads or helmets back then. Or skate ramps for that matter. It was mountains, without safety equipment. Flap your wings, you little shit, because life doesn’t get any easier after your first broken arm. When I was a teen I had a job teaching tiny little kids how to swim. I mean, three year olds. They all freaked out about going under the water. Humans can’t breathe underwater. It’s a natural fear. They all cried when you told them you were going to dunk them. Many screamed, some spewed. What you did not do was stop. You dunked them anyhow. Then again, and maybe again, until they stopped crying and they started giggling and then sometimes those little bastards took happy dumps in their swimsuits. Eventually, they all went on to be successful and bang hot chicks like Michael Phelps. The kids whose parents thought they should let their little kids fears dictate their behavior all went on to be miserable crack addicts and short Hollywood agents. Sometimes, you need to push the kid down the fucking ramp and sometimes he’s going to cry. But China isn’t getting any weaker, we don’t have much time.

wwtdd

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/29/2014 17:12

    I stopped reading after “Greatest Generation.” Sorry, there’s no such animal. The purity of WWII is going to go down as America’s most cherished myth.

  2. avatar
    miche the killer 04/30/2014 03:38

    Dads: doing what moms are thinking since the beginning of time.

    If that unbearable little rat-tail haired kid in the news footage came at me like that he’d be at the bottom of the ramp too. Just his tiny little dreadlocks made me want to push him.

  3. avatar
    MacDaddy 04/30/2014 12:24

    Someone should toss the dad off the ramp!

  4. avatar
    meredithann 04/30/2014 21:40

    hahahahahahahahahaahahahahah China isnt getting any weaker…..ohmygod

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