George Clooney Is Actually Engaged

Having long been one of Hollywood’s leading authorities on how to point at any woman on the planet and instantly make her undress, it seems that George Clooney is finally doing the unthinkable and hanging up his bachelor pants. After the rumors that he kicked Stacy Keibler to the curb because she demanded marriage and a baby, Clooney has reportedly asked his British lawyer girlfriend, Amal Alamuddin, to marry him after they spent the last seven months traveling the world together for random exotic vacations. And while they haven’t announced anything yet, Amal has been seen wearing a big ring, and that’s all that us nosey assholes need for confirmation these days.

This news means that Leonardo DiCaprio is now the world’s foremost celebrity bachelor, and we will try to ask him for a comment as he wakes up and crawls out of whichever supermodel’s cervix he fell asleep inside last night.

Photo Credits: Getty