I Slept Through Tax Day Again

April 15th isn’t really the day you pay taxes. It’s the day you have to submit those forms to the government to show that the money you had taken out of your paycheck the previous year is about what you owe. Some idiots get super excited when they get a refund, because, congratulations, you overpaid throughout the year. You’re a winner. Some people have to pay a little more. But for the most part, it’s just a symbolic holiday for Libertarians to eat pie in the back of Denny’s and bitch about taxes, and, naturally, why we can’t openly carry guns into legal brothels while smoking weed. The Old West was pretty awesome, minus the typhus. When people are polled, most say they pay too much in taxes. But that same majority also say they want the government to buy lots of things that cost lots of money. When prompted for who should pay more to cover the tip, they usually say somebody not named themselves. This mostly just proves that people are whiny selfish bitches. Which isn’t necessarily such a bad thing. According to Adam Smith, it’s a great thing. At some point we’ll probably have to reckon our incalculable debt. Or not. Every time somebody says we can’t leave that immense burden to our kids and grandkids, I think to myself, why the fuck not? We gave them a world where they don’t have to buy the shitty songs on albums and you can instantly access millions of pornographic films right to your fapping hand. Time to pay it forward, you spoiled shits. America, fuck yeah!