Let’s Keep Pretending Miley Cyrus Had Bad Antibiotics

By Lex April 18, 2014 @ 6:02 PM

I prefer when the publicists just say the young drug experimenting and partying performers are suffering from exhaustion or vocal chord fatigue or whatever other bullshit to explain why tours are being canceled and why the stars are mysteriously hold up in hospital wards. But I guess allergic reaction to an antibiotic is the new ‘wants to spend more time with her family’. Journey taught us that the road ain’t no place to raise a family, but it is an excellent place to chase down some happy pills with Jack and Cokes. Occasionally bands will cancel tours for non-drug related reasons. The dude from Kings of Leon canceled the tour a couple summers back because he just wanted to bang the shit out of his new Victoria’s Secret wife. Van Halen’s reunion concert got shut down when the crotchety old dudes just couldn’t stand to fucking look at each other sober. But, by and large, it’s recreational substances. Though that was refuted by Miley’s publicists:

Miley was suffering from a sinus infection during her tour in N.C. a week ago. She was prescribed the antibiotic Cephalexin which she has now suffered an extreme allergic reaction to. This type of extreme reaction can last from five to 27 days in these types of cases. She will remain hospitalized and is under a doctor’s care until we see some improvement in her condition and is asking for your compassion and privacy at this time. Miley is devastated about missing shows and possibly disappointing her fans.

That certainly seems official. Despite first hand accounts of Miley’s massive weed smoking, it’s hard to argue with publicist penned science. I can certainly give her my compassion at this time. Privacy is another matter. I’d like to retain that for myself. I do hope Miley gets better. I bet her drug connect does too.

Photo credit: Splash News

(9) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 04/18/2014 19:24

    Oh man, as much as I would like her to get exploded by high-voltage power lines…

    Wait. Ok, let me start over.

    I can feel her pain – I’ve had crazy bad allergies due to pollen recently and it’s no fun. An allergic reaction to medication is a horrible thing. Your skin can fall off. If she’s only out for a month then it’s not all that bad, but still.

  2. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/18/2014 20:04

    “The dude from Kings of Leon canceled the tour a couple summers back because he just wanted to bang the shit out of his new Victoria’s Secret wife.”

    If I remember correctly, that dude is a pretty severe alcoholic whose bandmates called him out as such in the media after a cancellation for “exhaustion.”

    It’s a smart move on the part of the publicist though. Per Admiral, people actually do have nasty reactions to drugs, and since everyone hates Big Pharma except for me and a few other addicts: win-win.

  3. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/18/2014 20:06

    Also, while she’s in the hospital, maybe the doc can have a look at the thrush coating this poor creature’s tongue.

  4. avatar
    bujawevu 04/19/2014 00:12

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  5. avatar
    mattyj2001 04/19/2014 06:19

    Cephalexin is an alternative to people with allergies toward penicillin, but those with a penicillin allergy have a higher chance of being allergic to cephalexin, too. I’m allergic to both and I’m angry that I now have to empathize with Miley Cyrus.

    I have the ‘shit your guts out for a week’ type of allergy, but allergies to any antibiotic can actually be pretty deadly. Since antibiotics get in your blood and travel all over your body, it can fuck you up in a lot of different ways, including suffocating you.

  6. avatar
    Raymond K. Hessel 04/19/2014 10:18

    I am this close to not wanting to put it in her.

  7. avatar
    AngeliqueFenwickinu 04/20/2014 13:19


  8. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 04/20/2014 19:15

    Nice car. Someone should clean that glob of shit off the hood.

  9. Jonny Midnight 04/21/2014 21:42

    Time will tell, I think, whether this was an actual medical condition, or not. People who attend to celebrities, in hospitals, or hotels, etc. usually eventually let slip what really happened.

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