Rihanna Is Desperately In Love with Drake

According to completely gushing girly reports by sources close to Rihanna, she’s more in love with Drake than she was ever in love with the back of Chris Brown’s hand. The pair are completely inseparable with Drake even holding her purse offstage during her performance at the MTV movie awards last night. Drake gave her the biggest hug ever in the history of hugs when she finished her Monster duet with Eminem.

Drake loves being in her circle and wants to be around her friends and family. That’s just how he is, always accommodating, always the gentleman, always wanting to take care of Ri in the smallest of way.

He sounds super sweet. Or like a closeted sadistic homo-erotic serial killer. I guess he could be both. The only thing that matters is that Rihanna is sparkling with excitement. She deserves some pleasant memories before she stumbles upon the rows and rows of dickless hobo bodies in his basement.

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