Run, Don’t Walk, to Get Yourself an Ass Tattoo

Men don’t get tattoos to be hidden. They’re not getting daisies on the inside ankle or a simplistic slogan on their underboob. It’s all about full sleeves and necks and faces and fingers and shit that is in your face. Like this Maori dude’s ass. You don’t let some tribal calligrapher work needles in your man-ass for six hours just to hide that end product. When the future Queen of England arrives you put on your best new thong and let her know that you once were warriors and you have the ass tats to prove it. You might even tell her that the meaning of your ass tats is scribed onto your cock like an anatomical legend that only appears when you’re fully engorged. This seems like an inappropriate thing to say to Kate Middleton on a meet and greet n New Zealand.  But not nearly as inappropriate as Prince Charles wondering if his wife will let him watch from inside the room this time as the latest native brute in the panties bangs her senseless.