Shailene Woodley Likes Having Hairy Pits

By Michael April 25, 2014 @ 12:35 PM

Divergent star and hippie crunchy Shailene Woodley says she likes to dance around with hairy armpits. Shailene is kind of a weird girl. She is a big up-and-coming star but she’s all into, like, natural stuff and enjoys being in, like, in forests and she eats clay and suntans her vag. These two sides to her persona are at odds with each other because no one wants some hairy woodland yeti girl on the red carpet.

“I find myself living in two worlds sometimes — being this person who can walk a red carpet in a huge, fancy-ass ball gown, high heels and mountains of makeup, but also being the girl at a hippie festival in the middle of the forest with war paint on my face, dancing around with hairy armpits. I exist so well in both, and I used to feel like I had to choose one or the other.”

I don’t know what’s going on with these Hollywood chicks lately. Cameron Diaz talks about the wonders of not wearing deodorant and both she and Gwyneth Paltrow are all about the hairy bush. Others are forsaking the undergarments, which is not so horrible, but the lack of general hygiene and grooming is alarming. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I like a woman completely shorn and hairless as if I am a Yemeni holy man about to take his eight year old bride on her wedding night the way God intended.

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    Trommel 04/25/2014 12:51

    Makeup = paint on face; so, no change there. Walking on a carpet, and posing…which even JonBenet’ Ramsey-aged girls can do…um…not so impressive either. Dancing around like a hippie girl… I know tons of “hippie girls” that go to dollar stores and get a pack of throw away razors for a dollar…although, I have ran into the butch lesbian type who think that females should keep their bodies in a caveman state that think female rights don’t exist in 2014. Ugh…uphill battle I know. Hygiene has changed in the last 15,000 years, let’s all do our part, unless…of course…you want men to also revert to caveman state and carry around clubs to make you submit, but why put Louisville Slugger out of business. Evolve Cavemen!

  2. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/25/2014 20:54

    “I exist so well in both, and I used to feel like I had to choose one or the other”

    Translation: Nature sickens me, but I had to say something to make myself seem human and “I grew up as a tomboy” is overused.

  3. MJ Mezei József Tibor 08/01/2014 08:09

    Whoever wrote this article doesn’t have a clue about what men really like or want. Perhaps he loves 6 year old girls at the age of puberty with no hair, who knows. I think women who shave are very unattractive and immature.
    I myself prefer the yeti girls who are the real women in the world. They are sexy and very erotic. This article’s autor should probably see a shrink. His brain is completely fried. By the system.

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