Apparently, it’s illegal to beat up your husband because he’s pissed you took off your wedding ring and spent the night in Jeremy Piven’s hotel room. Sophie Turner isn’t the first hot model to pretend she’s single. Women might love to hear other women talk about how romantic their husband is, but men mostly want to imagine these girls live by themselves in a condo filled with crotchless panties and sex toys and that they’re super lonely for some inexplicable reason easy enough to gloss over in the frenzy of masturbation. Sophie Turner’s secret husband got all all bitchy about Sophie rubbing Jeremy’s toupee across her intimate parts and she did what any wife would when confronted with a Piven affair, she gave her husband a good beat down. I’m not sure I’d call the cops if my wife beat me up while still stinking of Piven sauce, but hers did. Now she’s got a restraining order against her until this shit gets sorted out. And, by sorted out, I mean somebody reminds the husband you don’t want a permanent public record of your wife kicking your ass. It’s embarrassing. There are all kinds of double standards women have to deal with, this is one for the menfolk. Obviously, you can’t ever be with a woman after the twin humiliations of a a smackdown and Piven goop, so just drop the charges and divorce her and move on. Then change the story to how your wife caught you banging Emmanuelle Chriqui. In five years time, people will be confused enough to start remembering it that way and you’ll seem kind of cool again. Even though you’ll still be a huge pussy deep down.
Photo Credit: Sophie Turner/Facebook