The Human Barbie Is Kind of a Bitch

By Lex April 08, 2014 @ 2:28 PM

Valeria Lukyanova Human Barbie In A Bikini At The Beach
Finally, we have a real human Barbie doll with big tits, a tiny waist, and a contrived smiley face that would make any man feel like Ken, but with a real Ken dick instead of a plastic bump. Valeria Lukyanova has cut herself up something good, painted and tattooed other parts, toward her odd obsession to look like a Barbie Doll. She seems just so perfect. That ideally unreal female form that feminists have been decrying through the decades. And just when you’re ready to get the Winnebago and Disco Barbie play sets to bang her atop, your Barbie starts spouting shit about the degeneration of the human species thanks to racial mixing.

Ethnicities are mixing now, so there’s degeneration, and it didn’t used to be like that. Remember how many beautiful women there were in the 1950s and 1960s, without any surgery? And now, thanks to degeneration, we have this.”

In addition to her modernist views on the Master Race, Valeria has declared that families and children are for losers, As is food and water. She’s decided she’s going to live on nothing more than air and sunshine in the future. She calls it ‘Breatharianism’. I’m going to go ahead and call it a fairly expeditious solution to her off-putting racial rants. If she’s still alive in a week, it’s time to let her know that Barbie was invented by a Jewish couple and watch her ginormous eyelids flutter shut for the final time.

Photo Credit: Valeria Lukyanova/Facebook

wwtdd

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 04/08/2014 15:15

    Lex is the kind of guy whose girlfriend leaves him for a black guy, and his first instinct is to high-five the black guy. You guys are so transparently self-hating and anti-white that I have to think you all interned at the Southern Poverty Law Center at one point. Hopefully you’ll give yourself a tonsillectomy with a .45 sooner rather than later.

  2. avatar
    Jackazz 04/08/2014 17:05

    Get this bitch a cheeseburger….double time

  3. avatar
    cykepufaba 04/08/2014 18:56

    I buy almost everything except food and clothing from online auctions most people aren’t aware of the almost unbelievable deals that they can get from online auction sites the site that has the best deals is http://ow.ly/vxjAF

    I checked with the BBB and was told that it is all legit. How they can sell gift cards, laptops, cameras, and all kinds of goodies that we all want for 50-90% off, I don’t know I do know that I bought my son an ipad there for less than $100 and my husband a $250 Low gift
    cards for $48Why would I even think about shopping anyþlace else?

  4. avatar
    Admiral 04/08/2014 21:47

    I’m not defending her, but she’s right – when you mix two different races they can produce people that you don’t find attractive.

  5. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 04/09/2014 00:20

    I dunno. Just about every half-asian girl I’ve ever seen is pretty hot.

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