Details Of Kim’s Wedding Reveal That It Was Awful

By Travis May 30, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Kanye's and Kim's wedding was a fucking joke

There’s not a person alive, cursed with knowledge of the existence of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, who thinks that their wedding last weekend was going to be anything but a display of narcissistic bullshit and a reminder to everyone in attendance that they think they’re the most important people in the world. According to Page Six, though, it was so much worse than we could have imagined, from all of the bathrooms being set up in a 49-foot tall golden box that was dubbed the toilet tower to Jaden Smith running around the room, breaking everyone’s drinking glasses. But the best moment for Kanye was probably when he didn’t like the one-of-a-kind $136,000 music system created just for this wedding, because the speakers were visible and he allegedly said, “You Italians don’t understand my Minimalist style,” before having it removed. And the best moment for Kim reportedly involved her walking into a beam of light and freaking out because it was illuminating her vagina.

Other than that, it was a pretty standard wedding that featured Justin Bieber fans trying to scale the castle walls, Kanye giving a 45-minute toast to himself, John Legend playing a marble piano, and Andrea Bocelli signing and then being told to go home. Just like anyone else, really.

Photo Credit: Kim Kardashian’s Instagram

wwtdd

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    drozz 05/30/2014 10:14

    so…the wedding perfectly symbolized the union of kanye and kim.

  2. avatar
    BillyMitchellisaGoldenGod 05/30/2014 12:04

    The only good thing about these 2 being together is that when/if someone decides to take 1 of them out there is a good chance they will get both of them. It’s ole’ 2 birds with 1 stone concept.

  3. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 05/30/2014 12:56

    Ignorant fućking nïggers need less attention.

    I also didn’t know Andrea Bocelli was available to do sign language interpretation at weddings, but will keep that in mind for future requirements.

    Lastly, kill these stupid apes.

  4. avatar
    Al (Ted) Bundy 05/30/2014 15:30

    So what’s the over/under on the divorce? I give it 8 months.

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