I got suspicious when Jack Nicholson let Roman Polanski sodomize a middle school girl at his house. Cut to to just thirty-seven years later and here's Jack Nicholson refusing to accept a handshake from a kid at the Clippers game. You might forgive Jack for letting his skeevy Euro buddy cram his dick into an eighth grader, but Jack leaving you hanging for a shake on national TV, you don't come back from that. You've got two choices there, Sparky. Alcoholism. Or hunting down Roman Polanski in Switzerland and bringing him back to justice. I don't like to label children, but you don't look like much of a hunter. I'd call up Drew Barrymore and ask her for her black book of bars that serve to the grade school crowd.