In a slight amendment to her earlier comments that vaccinating your children is just like callously ramming a tetanus covered nail through the brain stems of your infants, Jenny McCarthy is now saying, run, don’t walk to get your kids knotted up with shots before the Polio prevents them from any ambulatory activities. In no way related to her gig on The View, her new book, or massive Internet backlash, Jenny is speaking out to clear the air on being branded ‘anti-vaccination’. Though doing so with her top on means less people will be paying attention:
“My beautiful son, Evan, inspired this mother to question the ‘one size fits all’ philosophy of the recommended vaccine schedule. I embarked on this quest not only for myself and my family, but for countless parents who shared my desire for knowledge that could lead to options and alternate schedules, but never to eliminate the vaccines. This is not a change in my stance nor is it a new position I have recently adopted, I’ve never told anyone to not vaccinate.”
Jenny also added that Pol Pot never actually killed anybody and Bernie Madoff never actually cashed any checks and she’d like the same kind of deference given to men in these situations. Then she pointed out her new smart girl glasses and prayed nobody would fact check any of her statements.
In more important news, Jenny declared she’s found the love of her life in Marky Mark’s brother and can’t wait to get married somewhere in the countryside, far away from the inexplicably revived tuberculosis outbreaks.