Jessica Simpson Makes Standing Up Look Hard

By Travis May 27, 2014 @ 9:00 AM

Jessica Simpson makes standing look very difficult and painful

Jessica Simpson deserves a lot of credit for all of the weight she’s lost in the time that she hasn’t been doing anything else, but we’ve reached the point of enough already. Of course we’ll continue to encourage her to try to look as sexy as she once did when she redefined cutoff jean shorts for an entire new generation of dumb blondes, but whatever is happening in these awkward Instagram photos of her with a golf club is not helping anyone. She looks awkward and confused, like if Courtney Stodden had an older sister who wasn’t as outgoing and psychotic, and if someone takes that driver away, she’ll fall over and shatter into a million stretch-marked pieces.

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    miche the killer 05/27/2014 11:16

    oh yeah, we done screwed her up good with all the fat talk when she was pregnant & fat. It’s all weird surgical duckface & selfies in swimsuits & heels from here.

  2. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 05/27/2014 14:11

    She still makes me stand up hard…..

  3. avatar
    Al Bundy 05/27/2014 15:22

    Yeah, looks like she had some sort of work done on her face.

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