I remember the joke as kids with parents telling you to wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus on the way to school. My mom would tell me to wear clean underwear just in case she D-Con rat poisoned my PB&J sandwich that day because she was off her meds. Then she’d guffaw like she was getting paid to be on Chelsea Handler’s fake audience laugh track. I used to trade my lunch with the gullible kids in the lower grades and rehearse my alibi for the ensuing investigation. Kate Upton looks to have pretty clean panties. She’s bucking the trend of commando currently all the rage in Hollywood. If you’re going to go to the trouble of having a smallish woman shipped across the ocean in a cargo container just to wax your genitals smooth, you’re going to want somebody to breathe in your new car smell crack. But Kate Upton remains determined not to be a sex object. Or maybe she’s worried about being hit by a bus.
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