I don’t know who invented Pilates but I’d like to give them a great big bear hug. I don’t even know what Pilates is, something to do with rubber bands and converted Tony Little Gazelle machines. I just know it’s turned an entire generation of girls asses into perfectly round evocations of the archetypal signal for reproduction. I’d like to think the girls are getting something out of it too, but that’s really secondary to the ability for an half-decent looking model or pretend actress to give a man a hard-on from three football fields away, depending on prevailing weather conditions. It used to be that girls had to rely on privilege of genetics and maybe a little exercise for a nice can. Now, a wide swath of the female gender can build themselves a brilliant ass. Not the gargantuan planet eater like the Kardashians, I mean a solid round little rump that music videos used to have to cast for days upon days to find. Thank you, Pilates. You’re probably some kind of Trilateral Commission conspiracy, but you’re doing God’s work.
Photo Credit: Splash