Miley Cyrus Seems All Better

After a nasty run-in with an antibiotic reaction that affects Miley Cyrus and almost one other person in this country annually, the mirthful ambassador of female empowerment is back to 100-percent crotch rubbing capacity. Although we’d all like to think we could masturbate and lip-synch at the same time, you give it a shot and see if you can keep your focus. Miley was performing in Lyon, France where her twelve year old fangirls have been taking lovers and smoking unfiltered Camels since nine, so they’re a little hard to shock with mere masturbation pantomime. Miley won their dark little hearts when she announced on stage, I am short and spastic and look like a lamb with lipstick, I am one of you! The crowd erupted in self-reflective light applause, the highest form of praise in the region.