You can’t go half-in and call yourself a stage mom. You can’t have your young daughter be half-cast or half-fondled or half-insane from the pressures of being a kid performer half-feeding the whole family. Dina Lohan knew this. Demi Lovato’s mom. Selena’s mom. Trish Cyrus. The two Coreys. Either you toss your kids into the rape pit or you go back to Florida and try to get your telemarketing call center hours back. Maddie Ziegler’s mom double downed by having her 11-year old dancing daughter starring in a reality show about pre-pubescent girls in leotards and, now, an Internet child sensation symbolizing the plight of a drunken whoring party girl in Sia’s new hit single, Chandelier. Who the fuck is Sia? That was my question too. She’s Australian and she uses the same auto-tuned modulation as Rihanna. That’s all I got. Six million people have watched her new uplifting ditty on YouTube in the past week:
Party girls don’t get hurt. Can’t feel anything, when will I learn? I push it down, push it down. I’m the one ‘for a good time call.’ Phone’s blowin’ up, they’re ringin’ my doorbell. one, two, three, one, two, three, drink. Throw em back, till I lose count.
And there’s Maddie naked and vulnerable trying to fend off imaginary hands tossing her around on the bed,or something resembling her last casting session for a Nick pilot. Everybody’s supposed to pretend this is art and dance and profound interpretation and therefore immune from pedo bear honey trolling. Perversion is in the eye of the pervert and other slogans reflexively recited at downtown art galleries and uptown NAMBLA meetings. The don’t judge art crowd will point out that Jodie Foster wasn’t all that much older when she brilliantly portrayed a street prostitute in Taxi Driver. Besides the drugs and the booze and the President getting shot, that didn’t turn out so bad. You’re doing the Lord’s work, Maddy’s Mom.