Pamela Anderson Fake Hair Is Radiant

At some point in every woman's life, she has to ask herself, am I ready to cut my hair short and start looking more like Ellen. You can pretend the pixie cut or the Robin Wright or the bob is cute and darling as it shall be so described by your friends. But even those coffee klatchers are now thinking to themselves, finally, I don't have to worry about my husband wanting to nail you while I'm out of town visiting my mother. Pam Anderson cut her hair short so she'd be taken more seriously in her middle years. Also, it's a bitch to get vomit out of tangled long locks. But when it was time for the insanely crappy World Music Awards, Pam wanted to let the world know she was still fecund and very much all woman. So she purchased numerous locks of Heather Locklear 80's hair off that guy on eBay who sells everything and had a whore toupee assembled that was a nearly 46% match to her own natural hair. Pam was truly the belle of the ball, un-phased by many people asking her in French if her new husband was indeed that same guy who fucked Paris Hilton on night vision camera.

Photo Credit: Getty

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