The Sheriff’s After Justin Bieber For What He Did to His Daughter

By Lex May 14, 2014 @ 12:22 PM

Justin Bieber Takes Off His Shirt Horse Back Riding At Griffith Park
Justin Bieber and his posse of roughriders were playing miniature golf at the Sherman Oaks Castle Park on Monday night when a kerfuffle broke out that carried over into the batting cages. Justin bravely snatched a cell phone away from a chick who was standing nearby to make sure she wasn’t filming his mini-muscles going Jet Li on twenty dudes. Grumpy still hasn’t quite figured out that grabbing some girl’s phone is going to get caught on camera by the next dufus over who is then going to sell it to TMZ and suddenly it’s a thing. Now the police are forced to conduct a phony investigation so more cops and court officials can sell more shit to TMZ about a case of ‘robbery’. Everybody gets excited because they want to see this extra-small cowboy put in the hoosegow and passed around like the communal Fleshlight. But you can’t take out the Dark Lord’s minion with a celebrity misdemeanor. Wake me when silver bullets or You Must Be This Tall to Go On This Ride signs are brought into the mix.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News

(6) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 05/14/2014 15:54

    That little faggot got his own cement pond
    That little faggot he’s a million-aire

  2. avatar
    Admiral 05/14/2014 16:15

    That sixth picture was taken just moments before his dysentery kicked into full, explosive force.

  3. avatar
    Shortshanks 05/14/2014 18:19

    But……does that little faggot get played on MTV?

  4. avatar
    Al (Ted) Bundy 05/14/2014 19:06

    He looks like one of those pictures where a tiny monkey is riding on a great dane. Cute!

  5. avatar
    lh 05/14/2014 19:37

    Man, I love you!! You’re writing is hysterical. And today, today, you make reference to Paul revere. Dood, hi five!

    he did it like this, he did like that, he did it with a wiffle ball bat…

  6. avatar
    ChestRockwell 05/24/2014 18:12

    That’s the gayest Dudley Do-Right impersonation I ever did see. Talk about a Gay Caballero!!!

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