Tori Spelling Tried Some Kinky Shit to Keep Dean Interested (VIDEO)

I don’t care if it’s a request for basic bit of shtupping or some kinky ass shit she heard from a sex doctor on Sirius, you never turn down a woman. It’s like a Japanese sushi chef requesting you sample his signature roll. You turn that toro away and you might as well draw swords. Unlike men who dangle their cocks in the pond waiting for anything to latch on, women feel vulnerable when they initiate sex. If your girl nervously tells you it’d make her so hot if she could shit on your foot, you peel off your sock and tell her how much you love her. It’s unclear what kind of dirty whore olive branch Tori Spelling extended her husband Dean, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from banging drunk girls in his hotel room. Naturally, Dean has an explanation. Tori wouldn’t doink him the night before he left for Canada and he felt confused. And when an alcoholic gets confused, he drinks and screws whoever he can find in the bar. Which makes alcoholism seem pretty fucking neat. My natural tendency is to feel pity for the married man in these types of situations because I figure he’d just a horny bugger who’s lucky to get a peck on the dong once a year on his birthday. But, Dean sure seems like a supreme cunt. Despite her face resembling a dory out of water and her shrill voice transplanted from the haunted hallows of the damned, Tori seems stuck with a husband who likes to drink and fuck a lot more than say, help with the kids or pay the bills. If this show wasn’t almost entirely staged, I’d tattoo Team Tori across my shit foot.