Cindy Crawford Selling the Cleanse

June 9, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

There comes a point in the life cycle of every supermodel when you stop selling sex and you start selling wrinkle creams and the gentle means to unclog your lady shitter. Elvis died from having his pipes ballooning with ancient fecal beasts intended for the trash chute. Cindy Crawford will be damned if that’s going to happen to a bunch of people with enough disposable income and submissions to blind celebrity association to purchase Urban Remedy. It’s a juice colonic that will power cleanse your body of that steak you ate at Denny’s in 1997. Cindy’s still working on a tag line for the product, with ‘Shit on my mole and feel like a winner’ currently in the lead. Cindy may regret the official end of her sex appeal, but she won’t regret the buck seventy she receives every time somebody drops a semi-soft deuce that smells like Christmas.

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