Elle Fanning Causes Pedo-Riots in Tokyo

I’ll chalk it up to youthful inexperience. But somebody should’ve seen the potential fallout from air dropping a blond teenager dressed in Disney pajamas into the heart of Japan. You could hear the thunk of a lone Pachinko ball as even businessmen dropping ten yen coins into panties dispensing vending machines turned to rush Elle Fanning. Imagine a million Japanese dudes hurtling toward you with their belts in their hands screaming in a foreign language about how naughty you’ve been. Get to the god damned chopper, Elle Fanning. There are no more Fannings after you.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI