I Expected More from Dakota Fanning’s Ass

By Lex June 25, 2014 @ 9:01 AM

I’m emotionally incapable of experiencing feelings of disappointment. It’s really just a matter of calibrating your happiness expectations to that of meth addicted stripper working the Reno-Sparks corridor. But as somebody who’s watched every Dakota Fanning movie ever from the balcony while sporting a trench coat, I’d have to admit I’m a bit disappointed in her role in Very Good Girls. It’s one of those indie movies bound to have the non-starving Olsen sister in it and inevitably has been in the can at least two years before you ever get to see it direct to Croation Hulu. The insidious press bastards suggested that Dakota was so avant garde, she was going to be naked in this movie. She’s not. And even the single shot of her bare ass was somewhat underwhelming compared to my Dakota Fanning albino fantasy art drawings. I don’t know who I sue to feel whole again, but I will be asking for a cut of I Am Sam with retarded Sean Penn edited out all scenes.

(5) Comments

  1. avatar
    decal1028 06/25/2014 10:47

    You say she’s not naked, then you post a screencap of her naked.

  2. avatar
    miche the killer 06/25/2014 11:06

    She’s so pale it looks like her foot is on backwards. She doesn’t eve cast a shadow.

  3. avatar
    Mud Nugget 06/25/2014 11:52

    Looks like a scene from the movie “Powder”

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 06/25/2014 16:30

    There’s no such thing as a healthy tan. If you don’t like pale women, more for me.

  5. avatar
    HHFI 06/25/2014 16:47

    Not real. According to interviews, Olson used a butt double, and Fanning wore a bathing suit that was digitally erased.

You must be to post a comment.