Jennifer Lopez Returns to the Bronx

Celebrities like to make a big deal about returning to where they came up. Like many of us, where they came up was some place that benefits from time and distance and the melancholy of reminiscing. Hey, remember that place where that dude got stabbed and bled out on the street or that time that girl got raped by the dude who was yet to be stabbed? Yeah, I loved being in constant danger and having no air conditioning. Those were good times. Over the years people from the Bronx have complained that Jenny forgot her roots and has never given back what she owes. Owes to who? That Puerto Rican chick who didn’t do so well in school and couldn’t sing bootstrapped her own Latina self into every backup dancer gig she could find to make enough cash to get the fuck out. She danced behind New Kids on the Block to pay her rent. That’s earning your bones. Until last night, Jennifer had never been back to the Bronx to perform. She can’t sing but she’s got an incredible ass that may not be near enough a set of balls to please her boyfriend, but still got her to the top of the entertainment powerhouse charts. I have nothing but respect for Jennifer Lopez. She didn’t forget her roots, she just never really liked them. That’s fair.

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