Kanye’s Teen Project Awaits His Return

By Lex June 05, 2014 @ 9:06 AM

Pia-Mia-Perez-in-a-Bikini

Before Jesus told Kanye to go become Kim Kardashian’s third husband, Kanye was spending late nights at the studio with Kylie’s teen singing friend Pia Mia Perez. Kanye insists the bleached blond YouTube star is going to be the next Rihanna. I think that means she’s young and ethnic and her voice takes to computer modulation. Also, she can touch her hair and body a lot and pretend to be filled with emotions, as she does in her first released song, Red Love. It’s about Pia regretting the loss of her virginity. Get it, red love. Yeah, I know. According to Pia, and every single teen pop star before her, she’s here to speak to what’s really going on with teenagers:

I’m not afraid to share my experiences. I never want to be offensive to anybody in doing that, but I’m here to speak for what’s really going on in the world for teenagers, who maybe don’t have a voice to say what they are going through.

Absolutely, in 2014 where in the heck would teens go to have a voice or express themselves. If only somebody would invent a social media technology to let teens share their common experience of being fourteen, dropping out of school, befriending the Kardashians, and penning power ballads about the regrets of being on the busted maidenhead side of statutory rape. Kim was previously concerned with all the time Kanye was spending in the studio with Pia Mia. I’m sure the sacred bonds of matrimony will quell her paranoia. All the same, I’ll only offer up a knowing ‘uh-huh’ the morning they find Pia garroted in a ditch in Calabasas with all her jewelry still on.

Photo Credit: Pia Mia Perez/Instagram

wwtdd

(2) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 06/05/2014 14:47

    She looks like an Indian boy I knew once. No, he didn’t have fake tits.

  2. avatar
    Beylerbey 06/05/2014 16:29

    When you’re on your Third World Sex Tour and you see her rounding the corner, you breathe a sigh of relief. That’s about as high on the ladder as she gets.

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