Kate Upton Naked Lady Parts Is Why SI Airbrushes

By Lex June 11, 2014 @ 1:42 PM

Kate-Upton-Camel-Toe-in-SI
I mock the extensive Photoshop work Sports Illustrated performs on all of its swimsuit models, but now I realize all that body shaping, cutting, glowing, hazing, and polishing into nipple-free slightly tanned culturally indistinct female mannequins is for a specific and much needed purpose. Kate Upton’s thong sucking hungry vagina cleft barely painted over. This un-touched up photo of Kate Upton unshackled from the vaults of the S.I. Swimsuit virtual junk box reveal a gaping genital maw that would in the very least prematurely teach young children where babies come from. That pucker needs to be cloned into Barbie doll asexual crotch but quick. Sports journalism reputations are on the line here.

Photo credit: SI Swimdaily

wwtdd

(16) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mud Nugget 06/11/2014 13:53

    Will she just get fat already?

  2. avatar
    miche the killer 06/11/2014 14:06

    I can’t tell if you’re just stupid, or kidding, but that is obviously body painted on. That’s right, you’re seeing her vagina, you unimaginative dumbtards. She’s just lacking a vag shield that keeps you from seeing more than her gyno.

  3. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 06/11/2014 14:12

    You can’t tell if Lex is stupid?

    Really?

  4. avatar
    MacDaddy 06/11/2014 14:36

    Thank you Miche the killer Lex is a total F*cking a$$ clown. How can he not know this is body paint.

    I’ll happily take this photo, change the color of the paint to her skin tone and PRESTO, nude Kate

    THANK YOU!

  5. avatar
    Admiral 06/11/2014 14:45

    Hey it’s Kate Upton’s painted vagina! I didn’t even ask for it, yet there it is. I wonder how much that artist got paid for his or her vagina painting skills.

  6. avatar
    Maybe_Observer 06/11/2014 15:00

    Those are some forthright lips…….

    …I’d listen to them anyday….

  7. avatar
    MacDaddy 06/11/2014 15:35

    There is no chance in hell straight man did that Amiral

  8. avatar
    MacDaddy 06/11/2014 15:37

    + oops…”Admiral”

  9. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 06/11/2014 16:16

    Immature? Absolutely.

    http://imgur.com/fhTNI0m

  10. avatar
    DrainBammage 06/11/2014 16:42

    The inbred hillbilly retard on Brickleberry put it best here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veLoXLMUjxc

  11. avatar
    Beylerbey 06/11/2014 16:59

    Acres and acres of gut.

  12. avatar
    Shastar 06/12/2014 03:47

    AT what point does Lex give the idea that he doesn’t know that’s body paint?

    “Kate Upton’s thong sucking hungry vagina cleft barely painted over. This un-touched up photo of Kate Upton unshackled from the vaults of the S.I. Swimsuit virtual junk box reveal a gaping genital maw…”

    That pretty much is a huge sign that he knows exactly what he’s looking at. you Lex haters are really stretching.

    In more pertinent news: Kate Upton is a perfect creature. i too wish to paint her body someday, only with my Jizz, multiple times a day.

  13. avatar
    Johnny Big Rig 06/12/2014 07:59

    Perfect creature? I’m not going to argue that she isn’t sexually attractive, despite her -1 personality, but her grotesquely round stomach and hips, and misshapen rectangular boobs are hardly “perfect.” just because she’s racked out with a nice face, DSLs, and the proverbial “beauty mark” does not mean she is perfect.

    Perfect one night stand maybe.

  14. avatar
    SigmaEW 06/12/2014 12:26

    like this?

    http://i.imgur.com/xpC9NKK.jpg

  15. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 06/12/2014 15:37

    ▲ Yeah, I’d eat the fūck outta that. ▲

  16. avatar
    SweetAngel 06/14/2014 03:07

    Wouldn’t it be cool if real bikini bottoms had lady parts painted onto them? Or they could just make them transparent. Either one would be great.

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