Kris Jenner Pushing Kendall Jenner to Show More

Kris Jenner runs her bitches like a level five master pimp. Say what you want about the conniving succubus, she gives the audience what they want. For some of her kids, that’s sex scandal. For others, it’s designer socks and fat boy tears. And for her master project, the mannequin that is Kendall Jenner, it’s titties. Not that Kendall’s yabbos measure up to some of the lipid absorbing members of the family. She did get Jenner titties. I don’t mean the ones Bruce is currently installing, I mean, genetically speaking.

She has like, the perfect body, especially one that wants to be in the modeling business. I don’t know, I got a lot of curves and I couldn’t pull that off. But she always looks remarkable — Kris Jenner on HuffPost Live

That’s the emblematic Kris Jenner quote. It self-references her own obviously hot body and also talks about her daughter like a pillar of shawarma at a Cairo bazaar. It’s almost quilted pillow worthy.

Playboy magazine has been sniffing around Kendall for a potential centerfold spread, as well as a number of sheiks from the United Arab Emirates for whom finishing on a Kardashian earns you a thousand generations of genuflecting from your rival clan. I think it’s fair to say that Kendall has a price. And that price is mom not having to bring out the metal wire hangers because you thought ‘no’ was an option.