Miley Cyrus In A Red Bikini

I despise this millennial meme about forgiving everybody’s trespasses. “Haters gonna hate” is some trumped up excuse for being lazy. Miley Cyrus needs to tell everybody, me included, fuck you on the platypus jokes and the dirty crotch ridicule, I’m in Barcelona hanging by the pool with a dozen cabana slaves oiling down my boy body to keep me white and pure. Tonight I’ll drink high end rum until I puke, flash my tits at some sailors, and shove a Cava bottle up my cooch. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up at noon and call my banker in Switzerland and remind him he owes me a Toblerone when the account his $200 million. When you’re in the business of being famous and making money and you’re really famous and making a ton of money, you’ve won. The world won’t combust into flame if you tell everybody to eat your shit, Please just don’t do it in song.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News