Zombie attack plans are great. Natural disaster evacuation plans definitely a good idea. But if you want a real measure of safety and you happen to be a former pinup girl, get yourself a post 40-plan and get it now. You don’t want to arrive at the age when the world is no longer tossing nickels in the bucket to see your titties with nothing but a blank look and the precursors for ass cancer. Unless you kept all those bottles you emptied since twenty, you’re probably sitting on the edge of broke and and wondering why Purina doesn’t make a vegan option. Or, like Pam Anderson, sitting on the bike boner of your second go-round with part-time poker player and self-described movie producer Rick Salomon. Obama’s got nothing in his Great and Powerful Oz bag for you, sister. Get yourself to Bahrain and milk some last ditch honey from the Middle East while you still have time. If not for you, then for your kids who aren’t so old that they don’t need your post cards sent to their boarding schools once a month to let them know mommy and that dude who filmed himself having sex with Paris Hilton are thinking of them.
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