ABC is debuting a reality series starring Paul Hogan because he was kind of funny in movies that were popular a couple or three decades ago. Also, development executives at ABC were pretty certain that Mayan apocalypse was real so they stopped coming up with any new TV ideas in 2010 because it was all so meaningless. This reality show’s impending failure can be prophetically summed up by Paul’s reason why his wife left him.
“Twenty years or so and they get sick of me. The novelty wears off.”
That’s a fact, Kangaroo Jack. Hogan’s ex wife was also his girlfriend in the Crocodile Dundee movies with the confusing Polish name, so she is probably the person most versed in Aussie novelty on the planet. The fact she divorced him doesn’t bode well for the show, which will feature Hogan talking in a dialect only spoken by dingo poachers and doing lame callbacks like That’s Not A Porsche, That’s A Porsche. He will pretend it’s strange to take a dump in the Northern Hemisphere and call out a New York food cart owner for serving koala shawarma. The Aussie Tourist Board shtick will quickly wear thing forcing ABC to call Steve Harvey in the middle of the night to ask him if he has any interest in doing something moderately funny about black folks.
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