Apple CEO Late to His Own Coming Out Party

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The coming out bandwagon is moving so fast now, if you don’t jump on, the sheer momentum will suck you into a big ‘I’m gay and my family has been extremely supportive’ vortex. Last week a couple CNBC anchors were discussing America’s gay corporate CEOs because I guess that’s a real business topic. Or it was when their guest said that no CEOs were officially gay, making it like Russia or the NFL until three months ago. Then the CNBC anchor Simon Hobbs said, what about Apple CEO Tim Cook, he’s hella gay, right? A stunned silence ensued.

“Oh dear, was that an error? I thought he was open about it.”

And then no chaos ensured because it’s 2014 and 90% of the public falls into the camp of either ‘Groovy rainbow gumdrops! Somebody famous is gay’ or ‘I could not give a shit’ with a heavy lean toward the latter. But it’s big news for the media because gay outing involves both a hot social topic and a wonderful guessing game. When there were no black or female CEOs, there was no real thrill of group identification and labeling. With super gay Tim Cook not being officially gay, you get some solid trumped up hoopla. If I had real human emotions, I’d probably feel bad for people who have nincompoops and complete strangers discussing their sexuality on national television. Although for Tim Cook I guess it beats discussing why there’s absolutely no valid reason to purchase the iPhone 6.

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