Beyonce’s Dad Likes Making Babies

By Lex July 08, 2014 @ 3:22 PM

TaQoya Branscomb Poses In Lingerie
TaQoya Branscomb. Don’t let her seedy stripper pics fool you. She’s a real estate agent and the eightieth person to claim Matthew Knowles knocked her up. When you get a service of process from a girl named TaQoya, it’s never going to be good news.

During his Destiny’s Child management heyday, Matthew was rumored to be keeping more girls in more towns than Michael Jordan. Being Beyonce’s dad was a very lucrative job. Being Solange’s dad was mostly just a pain in the ass. Beyonce finally fired her old man when little half-siblings started popping up a few years ago. About the time Matthews’s wife had had enough as well. I don’t think people realize the contribution Matthew made to everybody else’s loot. He was the dad who admitted to himself early on that his daughter wasn’t going to be a rocket scientist, but she could sing and was pretty. He said fuck you to education and got her career going as just a tyke. Just because most stage parents are horrible gruesome vultures, doesn’t mean some of them aren’t effective horrible gruesome vultures. It’s not like he Joe Jackson’ed any of the kids. Beyonce’s net worth is estimated at $400 million. How about a little love for pops who’s unemployed and down to boning bus stop girls named TaQoya?

Photo Credit: In A Flash Photography

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(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Beylerbey 07/08/2014 17:58

    I had a foggy moment there and thought she was named after a cactus.

  2. avatar
    lindaonkingsroad 07/08/2014 21:40

    Did Stevie Wonder do that RIDICULOUS bolt-on job? That’s the biggest refund gap I’ve ever seen. Absolutely hideous!

  3. avatar
    miche the killer 07/09/2014 07:26

    Her crotch is ashy…

  4. avatar
    Hugh G. Rection 07/09/2014 08:10

    Are we sure that isn’t a post-op tranny??

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