Courtney Stodden Goes to Washington

What makes this country so great is that any common man or woman can go to our nation’s capital and have their voices be heard. There is no more common woman than Courtney Stodden. Courtney went to Washington in a lettuce bikini to encourage people to stop eating hot dogs stuffed full of nasty processed animal goo, sort of like, oh, Courtney herself. Instead, she wanted people to try out veggie dogs composed of shoddy mass produced soy protein that gives little boys tits. Courtney claims she’s been vegan since the time she first started having underaged sex with much older men.

PETA decided some years ago that people tune out the messages from annoying ‘experts’ but tend to pay attention to blond girls with big boobs. It’s not a particularly errant calculation. There’s a lot of shit I’d watch if it was fronted by hot blond girls with big tits. State of the Union addresses, the evening news, my mom trying to use Skype. All could be made better by a poorly informed hot chick with mascara and big old yabbos. PETA just needs to find the hot chick.

Photo Credit: Getty