Donald Sterling Sues Everybody

July 23, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments

Donald Sterling has filed a civil suit against his strangle estranged wife Shelly, NBA commissioner Adam Silver, and the entire NBA. Basically he’s putting everyone he is pissed at into one giant group and suing the shit out of them. He narrowly left out the guy who fucked up his sandwich order yesterday. Does Donald look like he can chew through a roll?

The monster lawsuit is seeking compensation for breach of contract, breach of fiduciary duty, fraud, emotional distress, and a major drop off in whores willing to give head for Clips tickets. Given its breadth the lawsuit should consume more money than Sterling ever spent on his team in his first twenty-five years of ownership. He’ll probably die before the case is over or become so debilitated with Alzheimer’s he settles for a bag of marbles and a Blake Griffin rookie card. But if Donald Sterling can fuck up just one NBA season with his legal entanglements, he’ll go to his happy place just a little bit happier.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

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