Ian Ziering Holds On To Hope

By Matt July 18, 2014 @ 7:55 AM

Ian

Ian Ziering sees the Sharknado franchise as one that will compete with Star Wars and Fast Furious for many years to come:

“I’m going to keep doing this until I get eaten… I see about 20 more installments in our future.”

This seems more like a desperate career wish than a likely industry scenario. The first Sharknado drew upon viral novelty interest. Like the girl who brings the gag dildos to the bachelorette party. It’s a good giggle until everyone feels ashamed for hoisting a rubber cock because they’re thirty and paralegals.

If you don’t have another idea, you shouldn’t get to make another movie. I don’t think we need a law, just maybe a vigilante group that makes the producers disappear in the desert. The second Sharknado features Andy Dick and Kelly Osbourne, which guarantees it will both suck and have cocaine breath. Michael Strahan, Kelly Ripa, and a host of other daytime TV personalities also get paid to point in the air and tell everybody they’re in a movie. The real tragedy is all the time Ziering spends on Sharknado could be spent telling glory days tales of being Steve on 90210 and banging his Playmate ex-wife. You throw in some Jennie Garth gang bang stories and you have a much better evening than watching Sharknado.

Photo Credit: Twitter

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