Jeff Goldblum Likes Young Flexible Wives

This is the time to call out older men who bang gymnast dancers half their age. They’re emotionally immature and obviously threatened by women who are their equals. They’re not looking for a real partnership, they’re looking for a submissive human doll who won’t challenge their authority. I know, I read the feminist doctrine on the bus ride over here. I’m sure Jeff Goldblum is perusing the same journal as his 31-year old bride-to-be is blows him while swinging upside down from a chandelier. If Jeff Goldblum wants the company of 60-something women, he can put on his stupid hat and step into a jazz set at the local piano bar. When daddy gets home, he wants a girl who can pin her feet behind her ears without the need for Celebrex and a heating pad.

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