LeAnn Rimes desperately wants a doctor to squirt a future baby into her crazy womb. She wants to complete the circle of buying Eddie Cibrian from a soused Brandi Glanville and gestating his offspring so he’ll be tied to her forever. If I were Brandi Glanville, the moment LeAnn conceived I’d rush my two sons by way of Eddie out of the country to some Nepalese monastery for hiding. I’ve seen this alpha alley cat reproductive dance before. The children of the former matriarch never fare well. I’m not saying LeAnn will try to assassinate Eddie’s first two born by her sworn enemy, but I’m also not saying she won’t. I just want my bases covered so I can say I told you so when all the other dumbasses are telling reporters they didn’t see it coming and LeAnn seemed like such a nice neighbor. For his part, Eddie Cibrian says he’d prefer just to get a puppy. Which means he will soon experience the sensation of waking to a general paralysis while his wife cranks his tool into a cup and croons a tender love song.