LeBron Returns to Cleveland; Cleveland Lays Out Like a Doormat

In Northeast Ohio, nothing is given. Everything is earned. You work for what you have. I’m ready to accept the challenge. I’m coming home.

That’s how LeBron called upon his inner Tom Wolfe to announce his decision to return to Cleveland. It had nothing to do really with anything he wrote previously in his talking points ‘decision’ essay released on SI.com today, but whoever wrote it has a nice flair for Rust Belt sentiment. None of it really matters. Miami is over and LeBron is picking up his designer luggage and moving back home where the formerly angry cheated on denizens of the nation’s most shat upon sports town will gladly take him back. You’ll see one news story about a guy who says he burned his LeBron jersey in 2010 and forget it, he’s not so into forgiving. But everybody else in Cleveland will spread their legs and pretend LeBron never left his roots or the Cavaliers, he just took a break to find himself. Desperate people will fuck anything that makes them feel pretty.

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