Leonardo DiCaprio Saved The World, Fuck Yeah!

By Lex July 25, 2014 @ 2:52 PM

Leonardo DiCaprio kicked off his Leo Rescues Mother Nature Foundation in St. Tropez by amassing a large collection of hot models and Hollywood douchebags and raising a cool $25 million to save cheetahs and poison oak. Leo riled up the $50K a plate crowd with fierce rhetoric and the intelligence of three men:

There has never been, since the time of dinosaurs, as many plant and animal species disappearing so quickly … We must make efforts to protect rich biodiversity.

Then the rich bio-diverse guests bid millions of dollars on things like Bono’s guitar, appearing in Leo’s next movie, and being the guy to give Tom Cruise’s next wife a baby. After the Euros were all counted and the world tucked safely into bed, Leo returned to his yacht to karate kick the shit out of stuff then make tender love to his 22-year old model girlfriend. There’s just no stopping Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s like the perpetual motion drinking bird, only that’s not his beak, that’s his cock and that cup of water is the universe to infinity.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News

(3) Comments

  1. avatar
    Admiral 07/25/2014 20:50

    She’s only 22? Well, she has an expiration date of 8 years, give or take a year, then genetic imperfections start to show. I don’t think DiCaprio will stand for that.

  2. avatar
    Admiral 07/25/2014 20:53

    Why’s he still wearing jean pants? Who wears jeans anymore? Thick cotton? What is this, 1992? Wear breathable synthetics. By 2050 we’ll all be wearing synthetic-fabric robes and slippers and never take off our VR goggles – so invest accordingly.

  3. avatar
    Puritan 07/28/2014 16:22

    Leo gets all the pussy !

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