Miley Cyrus Isn’t Dead Yet

By Lex July 21, 2014 @ 7:37 AM

A Miley Cyrus death hoax over the weekend spread unchecked through the camp of people who have exit bags laid out to suffocate themselves to oblivion should anything happen to Miley Cyrus. Just check out fan Lauren. The mere possibility of Miley’s tragic death forced her to spell out almost half her words. And Natalie nearly swallowed her retainer while teeing Lauren up with exasperated segues. That shit’s not funny, hoaxsters. These are real girls with real respiratory problems that keep them indoors.

Naturally, people are somewhat inclined to believe a MILEY CYRUS DEAD FROM DRUG OVERDOSE social media headline more than MILEY CYRUS SUCCESSFULLY NAMES ELEVEN STATES. The entire hoax was run by one of those spam survey sites that asks you how old you are and then says you ranked in the top 98% of respondents so you win a RV. Don’t give them your credit card number or your bank account will be used to buy more missiles to lob at Tel Aviv. This world is now way too small.

(4) Comments

  1. avatar
    Roadshitter6.5 07/21/2014 07:42

    We could not be that lucky.

  2. avatar
    flrouse 07/21/2014 09:42

    I guess mild disappointment is the appropriate response.

  3. avatar
    BiebersStrapon 07/21/2014 10:18


    Can anyone actually read or write at a 2nd-grade level anymore?

  4. avatar
    Beylerbey 07/21/2014 12:24

    Death hoax, or death hope?

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